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If the first time you think about me is when you realise I’m blocking the sale, too late!

Some years back there was a young man called Nigel working at Queensberry. He was about to get married, and that's how the following exchange got started.

It prompted me to write a post in which I said that, to hear people talk, you’d think that only two people are involved in buying a wedding album – the bride and her mother.

Same with portrait shoots, I was sure. I couldn't imagine cloth-eared men like me taking the initiative in those either.

But what happens if the person making the decisions is the guy? How do you sell to him?

Well it’s been a while since I got married, I said, but I’m a guy … so let me think:

If the first time you think about me is when you realise I’m blocking the sale, too late! You needed to start paying attention a lot earlier.

But let’s start at that point anyway, and work backwards…

1. If you ignore me while doing that sales job on my bride-to-be (let’s stick with weddings) I’m probably not going to be happy. There’s been a lot of ignoring me going on recently, by everyone from wedding planners and florists to priests and parents. I know it’s her day, and I love her — but I’ve got an ego, and now you want me to spend … how much?

2. Maybe I’m not as interested in the girly stuff as she is, the dress and the flowers, the pretty details and the fairy tale. Don’t make the album just a souvenir of all that stuff, like one of those frilly bedrooms that makes a real man feel an intruder.

3. How can the album appeal to me? Emotion’s great if it’s authentic. I don’t like fakery, that’s all. Our friends’ pictures on Facebook and Instagram capture the emotion and connection and fun. Put them all together and I’d get the story of the day … sort of. I don’t want to lose that, I want you to distill it into a real story — beautifully told — to last. Something that shows both of us, both our families, tells both our stories, and captures the significance of the day. Without me feeling like a stage prop in someone else’s dream.

4. Your sample albums need to meet the same test, or you lost me when we first called. If I can get an emotional tug from someone else’s photos there’s a good chance I’ll love my own.

5. And finally, I’m not a “man”, I’m me. She’s not a bride, she’s my bride. I hope you get to know us both before the wedding, because your real magic is to treat us as individuals. Not to mention that it’s easier for us to buy from someone we know.

Not that man!

When I posted about selling to “the man in the room” it drew prompt responses from two men. Johannes, a wedding photographer writing posts for us at the time, thought I was over-simplifying. Nigel, our latest in-house groom, said he felt “slightly offended”!

Johannes said there are all sorts of guy and they need handling differently:

1. The besot — hopelessly in love and a cinch for a big album.

2. The control freak — Needs to believe that they have choices: choices empower them and allow them to “own the outcome”.

3.The accountant — The value of the album is a number, like a certain number of pages or prints: change his perception from quantity to quality, and from photographic prints to individually artworked imagery.

4. The practical guy — Needs to understand that the album is not just to show off to friends but a reminder to future generations of his own family.

5. The “I don’t get what all the fuss is about” guy — needs to understand that the album is not for him, but will make his true love happy.

6. Creative guy — Needs enough rope to feel part of the creative process but not enough to hang anybody.

7. The tight arse — Needs to understand the value of the love of his partner.

8. The hopeless romantic — Showing as much feeling as possible will get you a long way.

9. The disinterested guy — Needs responsibility shifted to someone who cares, or to just agree to let you do your job.

10.The equal partner — Let them choose some images at the beginning, but then leave the design to you: otherwise being diplomatic could take forever.

11. The guy with a job he didn’t want — Relieve him of his responsibilities so he can focus on the things that matter to him, while you create the album.

12. The DIY guy (often designs websites from home) — Needs to understand why you’re the best person for the job, and what it is that you bring to creating albums that is beyond mere mortals.

13. The closet scrapbooker — Will always want to change and add things: especially important to make sure you charge for changes.

So there you go, I’m a closet Scrapbooker.

Not this man either

Nigel thought he was probably a Control Freak, although I thought he might be Besotted. What offended him was my saying men don’t care too much about the detailed girlie stuff!

His first point was, “1. Don’t try any cheesy sales lines on me… I’ll think you’re a douche. One photographer said to me, ‘Nigel, how will you feel tomorrow if you don’t buy it now?’ I didn’t buy and I feel OK.”

I liked his other points too:

2. For the past twelve months I’ve been planning this wedding, and I’m a little over it. Connect with me on a different level. Please. It’s not hard to figure out what I’m interested in and have a conversation with me about that.

3. We do have egos. I want to feel an important part of the photos and the album too. I might not even know that I want to be part of it, until you ask. So ask.

4. Don’t trivialise or brush off the cost of this thing.

5. Ask me what I like or love, don’t tell me.

6. Here’s the kicker, for me anyway. Make me feel like you care about my bride as much as I do. Make her the most important thing in the world, make her laugh, make her cry (the good kind), make her trust you… And I’ll buy anything.”

So yes, Nigel’s Besotted. But there you go, opportunity knocks! Just remember that we guys do have egos.

And a reminder about my seminar experience in America

My Texan business guru told me that nothing was too much for his Sweet Pea — it’s just that neither of them knew about albums, and all the photographer offered them was a DVD.

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