Do you know Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds? — I'm showing my age here! Nick's strange baritone singing voice is definitely an acquired taste and I stayed away until I saw him as one of a bunch of big names singing Leonard Cohen songs at a Sydney tribute show.

And then I came across the Red Hand Files. When they show up in my feed I stop scrolling and read, and his latest post made me think of photographers, and what you do. What we do too.

Nick invites his fans to ask him questions, and every week or so he picks one to answer. He takes this very seriously.

This week someone called Amy described her Dad dying unexpectedly, and said:

“…Now I feel like I have failed him so terribly. How do you apologize to someone who is gone? How do you say I love you and I’m so sorry when their ears and their heart don’t exist anymore?”

In his reply Nick said:

Find a quiet spot where you can be alone and away from distractions, close your eyes, and picture your father. Then say these words, quietly or in your head — 

You are my father
I am your daughter
I love you
I am sorry

I know Nick and his outlook on life might not be to your taste but this moved me.

You (we) can’t help Amy with her grief or regret, but the picturing? The remembering? That’s what you do for a living! What we do too.

We should take what we do seriously.

That album you hand them, it’s not just an expensive souvenir — of a wedding or a birthday or a day in the life — it’s something that will outlast you, and quite possibly them. It will become increasingly precious.

I know Heather and I have the albums our parents left us.

Ian

PS Here’s my personal love letter to wedding albums.